we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
