Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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