from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
