Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
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