Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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