I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
this hospital has no fireball
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
