Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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