Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Just cropdusted the office
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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