fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
