How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My cat gives me a boner
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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