Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Randomize
