i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
He felt like a one man threesome
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
