Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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