i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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