She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
