but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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