the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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