My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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