They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
