what day is it and did you see me today?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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