More tranny stories later!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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