id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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