which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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