so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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