jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
