You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
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