All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She is in my trunk
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
