Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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