Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
