don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize