Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
