he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
