You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You took a bar mat shot.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
