dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
