I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My feet surprised me
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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