as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
