we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Randomize
