Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
