as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
