You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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