Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
try to milk me bitch
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
