Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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