Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
