He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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