Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
