I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
