CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
