Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
