Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
