so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
