Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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