The maid of honor just puked.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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