I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
